Made of Stars by Kelley York (Joana)


*** SPOILERS *** 

I have no idea how to put into words what I’m thinking about this amazing, wonderful, painful book. I’m all emotions and feelings right now.

My heart is twisted in a painful not, I’m feeling tears running down my face while I’m writing and my heart and my brain don’t want to accept that things ended like this. 

I knew since the moment I laid eyes on this book that it would break me and I still read it anyway. I loved it but now my heart is paying the price with all of these feelings that are causing me so much pain. A terrible heart ache. 

Chance and Hunter… They loved each other! For so long they did nothing about their feeling and now after so long they admitted what they felt! They did something about it! “I Love you.” “I love you too.” So why did Chance had to run away?Why ? With all the evidence surely he would get a way, right? Things would get solved, right? I don’t know anything anymore I just know that I’m so not okay. 

I hate open endings! There’s so much that can happen but we’ll never know what really does happen. Never. All we can do is imagine how things will go knowing the characters like we do and that does not help at all settling my mind. I keep imagine the worse. 

I keep imagine Hunter completely heart broken after Chance’s goodbye over the phone. I keep imagine that the Jackson’s will never be the same without Chance, how all of this changes them all. I keep imaging Hunter completely lost and forever trying to reach Chance again… Loving him for ever and not being able to be with him. 

I keep imagine Chance alone looking at the stars and thinking of Hunter and it makes me so damn sad because they should have stayed together! They should have! 

How am I suppose to move on after this ? How ? What happens to them? To Ash, to Chance, to Hunter? I hate open endings.Specially when things end in these terms.

Images of Hunter and Chance together are hunting my thoughts. Hunter and Chance lying together. Hunter and Chance kissing and saying “I love you”. It’s killing me. Making me cry. I can’t get over it. 

“It breaks my heart a little in the same way that it makes me smile. We’re so close to a happy ending.” 

And that happy ending never arrives and I can’t accept it! 😥 

I loved this book in some many different ways. I loved the dual perspectives of Hunter and Ashlin. Complex characters that show what family is all about. That bring really meaning to what being a family means. Hunter and Ashlin, half brothers – same dad different moms – that don’t see each other as much as they would like and with very different lives but love each other and need each other unconditional. That have such an amazing bound.. I love their relationship, it really touched me. 

Chance that has more than shitty family and that found some happiness and what he needed to keep living in the Jackson’s. In his love for Hunter. 

A dark and revolting story line. A bittersweet love story with lot of twists and triangles. Unconditional friendships. Lies. Secrets. Trust. Love.

A tragic story really, with an ending that was definitely not what I wanted but didn’t made me love this book any less, only makes really broken hearted. 

I really recommend this book.

5 stars

“We’re all made of stars. We burn bright, then we flicker away.” 

“I can’t see the stars.”
“We’re made of stars. You said so yourself. So can you just look at me for now?”

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