Ruin and Rising by Leigh Bardugo (Joana)


*** The SPOILERS in this review are NOT hidden. ***

I’m broken. Devastated. Crushed. My heart hurts like it’s been torn apart. I’m in denial, can’t stop crying even after I finished this book several days ago. I’m so mad and revolted and I just wanna scream because I hate how this went in this book but I loved the book anyway!!

Why Leigh Bardugo?! Why ? How could you do this to me??? 

I gave this book 5 Stars because I did love it and I think it deserves but nothing went like I wanted and I’m so mad and AHHH !!! I still don’t know if I’m going to change to 4 Stars. I’ve been thinking a lot and I really don’t know how to deal with all of what happened. 

I’m mad and fucking broken because I love these books and the main reason was the Darkling and nothing went like I wanted for him! My thoughts and my heart were ALWAYS with the Darkling since the first time he appeared in Shadow and BoneI LOVE HIM. I’VE ALWAYS LOVED HIM and I’m so damn mad that the author didn’t make his story and his character as important as I wanted and it should have been.

He’s such and fascinating character and so complex. In my opinion he author should have explored him more. His past, his thought, his feelings, his motivation and fears and … there is so much that could have been told about him. So much potential for this to be even a greater story. I feel like Leigh just totally gave up on him. He barely appeared during Siege and Storm and the same happened in Ruin and Rising. The only glimpse of Darkling’s past that we see is from Baghra’s story, a story that left me shaking and with tears on my face, with so many feels and so sad. I don’t know what to think about Baghra. I like her but at the same time I resent her. I know she really did love her son and all that she taught him as to protect him butthe things that she make him learn were the cause of his loneliness and I hate that. 

Even with Alina… I NEVER wanted Alina and Mal together. I ALWAYS wanted her to be with the Darkling. I wanted to see more interaction between them, I wanted her to struggle with feelings for him and I wanted him to open up with her like inShadow and Bone and when he shared his true name with her –Aleksander… Such a beautiful name – I thought that with the Merzost power Alina would be close to the Darkling and I’m so disappointed that it didn’t happen. We did had a great “view” of Darkling shirtless , though.

It’s not enough!! I want more!! People who didn’t like him don’t understand this. To people who loved Mal and shipped him with Alina this was perfect I imagine but NOT TO ME!!! 

I cried so much when the Darkling died. I hated it! HATED IT!!! I was sobbing so hard and I just wanted to scream. I can’t take the picture of him dying and his funeral out of my head. This hunting and torturing me! I can’t forget his words telling Alina to say his name, I can’t forget how he was grieving with his mother’s death… I can’t that Darkling out of my head and every time I think that he’s no longer alive I just get this feels in my heart… I’m so so devastated. 

I think it’s clear that I didn’t wanted Mal and Alina together. I never liked any of them , although in this book neither of them were as annoying as in the previous books, I still don’t like them much. Specially Alina she gives me a weird feeling that I cannot explain but I do not like it. Mal grew on me a little. He really is an amazing boy and a great soldier. I knew there was something special about him… little things that the Darkling said and Baghra’s reaction when Mal showed up left me really curious but I was not expecting to be the third Marozava Amplifier. When Alina said it I just lay there in my bed staring at my tablet screen blinking and thinking “What the hell just happened?”

Nikolai is my other love. I just like the Darling I can’t express how much I love him. I admire Nikolai so much! And I envy his skills with people a little. He’s amazing! Charming, funny, wise, good, fair, gorgeous,… No way to describe him. To be honest and fair the only moment in all three books that I felt a glimpse of anger through the Darkling was when he turned Nikolai into that monster. It passed quickly because then Baghra sacrificed herself and I was terrible sad because of how the Darkling was reaction. But still.. my poor Nikolai. I’m really happy how thing turned out for him. He’s the perfect King for Ravka . I just hope he finds a good girl who’ll deserve him and will love him not just a political alliance.

I love Nikolai! ❤ 

I also really like Tamara and Tolya. Really, really like them. They’re amazing Grisha and amazing friends. I couldn’t be more happy about Tamara and Nadia being together. They are really adorable. 🙂 

David and Genya are other adorable couple. They are not my favorites, there are somethings that I don’t particularly like about them but they are really cute together. I’m happy that Genya is better and free and that David finally opened his eyes.

Zoya really surprised me! I hated her in Shadow and Bonebut now I kind of love her. She’s pretty awesome! 

Apparat and the Sankta Alina followers still creep the hell out of me. I hate Apparat! My skin crawls just by thinking about him.

The ending was so melancholic. A good one I guess considering how things went…

Will I ever get over this feeling?? I guess not…

Forever hurting and suffering because I feel in love with the bad guy. I love you Darkling. ❤ 

The Grisha world is amazing. The characters, the story,… I loved it and I’m going to miss it. I’m going to miss the Darkling and Nikolai the most. 

If things had gone differently with the Darkling this could have become one of my favorite Trilogies ever.

Totally recommend it.

 

4,5 star

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